You found me
by ImpalaChevy67
Summary: Neji is confused and torn apart between what his heart tells him and what his sense of duty orders him to do. He is faced with a chance at being free if, of course, he becomes a traitor. What will he do? How will he cope? First person POV, Yaoi. I'm not sure if there will be a lemon so I rate it M, to be sure.
1. Prologue It felt so right

**Pairing:** ItaxNeji

 **Warning:** Angst, OOC, Yaoi (MxM), Language, Violence, First person

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or the characters and I don't make any money from this.

 **A/N:** So this is an ItaNeji I came up with at school... R&R

 _ **You found me**_

 ** _Prologue:_** _It felt so right_

* * *

My eyes flew wide open as I gasped for air, choked sobs escaping my throat. I lifted my body to a sitting position and tried to regain the equanimity that characterizes me and everyone who bears the name Hyuga. I prayed to whatever Gods there were for some well-deserved luck. I hoped that the scream that left my pale lips did not make it out of my room. I shot a glance at the clock. 3:56AM.

Another nightmare. Another restless night, haunted by the demons that lurk in the dark and get stronger every second I hesitate. Another twist of the dagger impaled in my heart at a time when no one can hear and save me.

In the silence, the overwhelming quietness before the storm, I am left alone, fighting myself and my own morals. Torn apart between freedom and duty. Love and village. Us and them.

And how do I escape from this cage constructed by my fears? These bars forged with shattered dreams and hatred that was bottled up for years? All I have to do is reach out. Reach for the key, for the door, for his hand.

His hand... I can't even remember how many times he held his hand out for me and told me to follow him. To leave everything behind and be free. Free... In the end, what does it mean to be free? Would I be free if I btrayed my village? If I did, for once, what my heart told me?

No. No, I wouldn't. I could never be free, it just wasn't my fate and I should think of it no further. I am a shinobi, my role is clear. I follow orders and I'm no hypocrite to convince myself otherwise. _He_ is not my fate. Yet no matter how many times I tell myself that, the exact same number of hours I spend with him away from everything and everyone.

I can't keep doing this. I have to end it or it will eventually destroy me. Now is the time to choose whose side I'm on. Now is the moment of judgement. And I already know I will pick him. Because it doesn't matter that it is wrong. It doesn't matter because... it feels so right.


	2. Daily façade

**Pairing:** ItaxNeji

 **Warning:** Angst, OOC, Yaoi (MxM) (later chapters), Violence (later chapters), First person

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or the characters and I don't make any money from this.

 **A/N:** So this is an ItaNeji I came up with at school... R&R

 _ **You found me**_

 _ **Chapter 1:**_ _Daily Facade_

* * *

I was already awake when my room was finally lit up by the golden light and dawn broke. I had found myself rebellious to sleep's embrace after I was rudely forced out of uncosciousness by the previous night's fierce nightmare. When every corner of my room was showered in bright warmth I finished tying my hair and exited the bedroom wearing the tradiitional, white Hyuga clothing.

My posture and face betrayed none of my exhaustion or inner turmoil as I walked gracefully through the corridors of the Hyuga manor, heading for the training premises.

I was, of course, well aware that Hinata was following me closely behind but I was not about to inquire why she was tailing me or what she wanted unless she chose to tell me herself. That was mostly because I did not have time for such a nuisance.

"N-Neji, may I have a w-word with y-you?"

She decided to speak right when I didn't want to answer. I spun around suddenly making her gasp in shock before speaking ina calm but icy tone.

"Of course. What is it that you wish to tell me, Hinata-sama?"

"Um... Uhm... I... well... you see..."

"I'm afraid I will have to implore you to get to the point faster, seeing that I have somewhere to be and I will not appreciate it if I am late due to your meaningless stalling."

My words were harsh. Maybe even harsher than I had intended them to be. I could already see their effects in her eyes. There was fear in the opalescent pools and she was on the verge of tears. I didn't pay it much heed though.

"S-sorry! I was wondering if I c-could ask a f-favour of you."

"And of what nature would this favour be?"

Her cheeks turned beat red as her pastel orbs widened and she averted her eyes. I, however, did not let my piercing gaze falter as I maintained my emotionless mask, one thing I had become extremely good at; showing nothing. Result of many years' training and living with the people I am expected to call my... _family._ I could even hear the disgust in my own thoughts as the word danced in my mind. Her stuttering voice interrupted my train of thought.

"Um... C-could you please g-give this t-to... to Naruto?"

She took an envelope out of her pouch and pushed it to my chest. I arched an eyebrow questioningly at her. Not at the request itself but at the guts she had to touch me. I slowly took the neatly folded piece of paper out of her delicate hands and shoved it in my own pouch. I bowed my head slightly and turned around. Her voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Don't read it."

Who does she think she is? Most importantly, who does she think I am? I would never read such a personal document without permission. I did not, however, show my anger as I said;

"Of course, Hinata-sama."

I walked away. The day had just started and my headache was already massive. It's not like I couldn't handle it, it was a daily occurence, after all.

Lately, my head was crowded with heavy thoughts even when I was sleeping, if that could be called sleeping. My mind had not rested properly in days and it was taking its toll on my body. Of course, it was not visible but I could feel it. And the effort not to show my exertion was adding to it. I wouldn't be surprised if I collapsed any moment. I would certainly feel humiliated, though. For a Hyuga to give in to their body's limit means degradation. Therefore, forbidden.

I knew my day was about to become even worse when thick droplets of water hit my hair and headband. Soon, my eyelashes were damp and heavy and my ears were ringing with the sound of water hitting stone.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply the scent of the rain. It was heavenly. I slowly, savouring the feeling, walked to the old building and knocked on the wooden door. Nothing. I could hear the wind whipping the trees behind me. I knocked again. I was starting to get impatient, where was this knucklehead? Just as I had raised my bandaged arm to knock a third time, the door opened and a messy blond head stuck out, eyes still half closed, opening wide when he saw it was me.

"Hey, Neji, what're you doing here with this storm raging on?"

Always exaggerating, as if it was a real storm... No sooner had I opened my mouth to voice the reason of my unexpected visit than he spoke again.

"Hey, do you wanna come in? You must be freezing! You're drenched! Come on!"

"No, thank you for the invitation but...-"

"No 'buts'! What I say goes!"

With that, he grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled me inside the room. I showed no resistance. Instead, I welcomed the warmth and coziness of that place just as it welcomed me. It was strange. All my life my 'house' had been the Hyuga mansion. The word 'home', on the other hand, was not part of my vocabulairy. This place felt better than the cold, impersonal rooms of the Hyuga compound could ever be, despite the clothes and magazines on the floor or the dirty ramen cups in the sink.

"Sit!"

He told me as he pushed me down on an orange (big surprise) couch and sat right next to me. Far too close, if I may add.

"So, as to why I'm here..."

He had that stupid grin plastered on his whickered face, as if he knew something I didn't. Regardless, I reached for the letter in order to give it to him and then go out in the rain once again. My fingers barely got to brush the envelope when Naruto's hand clasped my wrist and stopped me.

"What are you doing, Naruto?"

I was genuinely confused but I did not show any form of hesitation as I removed his hand from my own.

"Don't tell me."

What? Don't tell him what? What was he talking about?

"What?"

"Don't tell me why you're here because then you'll have no reason to be here and you will leave. I don't want you to leave."

In my sixteen years of life no one had ever told me they didn't want me to leave. I, for one, was always unwelcome.

"What are you trying to say?"

"What I'm trying to say is; stay with me."

I was in somewhat of a shock and he used that to the fullest as he leaned in and looked into my eyes before his lips touched mine. He put a hand on my nape and tilted my head. What?! I didn't want this so why couldn't I move?

When my body finally caught up with my brain, I placed both palms on his chest and pushed him off of me without hurting him. Then, I took out the almost forgotten letter and pushed in his hand.

"This is from Hinata, she asked me to give it to you."

I got up and approached the door, quickly twisting the doorknob and disappearing behind it. Not quickly enough, however, to avoid hearing his words.

"But I don't want Hinata. I want you!"

My mind needed more time to comprehend what had just happened. I took a few large steps in the rain and headed for the forest. Why had Naruto kissed me? It didn't make any sort of sense. My very first kiss... Well, I must admit that it was not a real kiss, just a touch of the lips, no tongue or anything, thank Kami!

I then took notice of the trees around me and realized I had reached my destination. I leaned on a tree and let water splash onto my body. Surprisingly, after a few moments, I sensed another presence close to my own. I recognised it instantly and didn't get alarmed. I even closed my eyes, as the utter proof of trust. Maybe I was a fool, maybe I was far too quick to swoo. I did not know and I did not care. I trusted him and I was going to let him know. If I were meant to be wrong about that I was prepared to pay the price. There was no need, though, as I was soon wrapped tightly in a cloak.

"You're going to get sick if you go out in the rain like that."

"What are you doing here? It's still morning, someone could see." I still had my eyes closed.

"No one will see, do not worry about how you appear to others, little Hyuga." The voice sent shivers up my spine and I honestly made no attempt to hide it. There were no secrets here, not a single one.

"I worry not about anyone's opinion about me but yours. I fear not for myself but for you. It would not be wise to let others see you here. And, please refer from calling me 'little', I do not plan on tolerating it."

A dark chukle echoed in the forest from right behind me. It was pointless to try and reason where logic had no place. I leaned back, knowing he was there to catch me. My back hit his torso and I rested my head on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat.

"You were at Naruto's house."

"That is true."

"Why'd he kiss you?"

Straightforward, I appreciate it. I hate people who beat around the bush trying to be subtle. Bluntly put, I appreciate bluntness. I saw no reason why I should answer.

"It does not concern you."

He suddenly grabbed my left forearm and turned me around so that I was facing him. He did not look at all pleased. That, however, did not make him any less intimidating. Quite the contrary, I dare say.

"So you think it's alright if you kiss just anyone?"

"First of all, I was not the one who initiated the kiss. Second of all, I know of no reason why I should not kiss anyone I wish? It's not like I am currently with anyone."

"Are you trying to punish me for something or toy with me? I believe that you understand, little Hyuga."

"If you're referring to what we have, you were the one to make it clear that it is not some sort of relationship."

"I only said that because you're too young."

Who does he think he is? Too young?!

"I've killed, I've tortured and I've been damaged beyond repair. So, what am I too young for?"

"Don't say it."

"Love?"

He disappeared. Just like that. I thought naught of it as I was well aware that he would be back by curfew. And thus I was left alone, clutching a black cloak with red clouds that smelled of rain, blood and Itachi Uchiha.


	3. Dull day or not

**Pairing:** ItaxNeji

 **Warning:** Angst, OOC, Yaoi (MxM), Language, Violence, First person

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or the characters and I don't make any money from this.

 **A/N:** So this is an ItaNeji I came up with at school... R&R. The title for this chapter was inspired by the song _'Time'_ by _'Pink Floyd',_ if you know it you are awesome and I probably like you. The story of the book is inspired by _'Romeo and Juliet'_ as I'm sure is quite evident.

 _ **You found me**_

 _ **Chapter 2:**_ _The moments that make up a dull day... or... not so dull after all_

* * *

It took me a while to realize that it had stopped raining and I should be heading home, if I could call it that. I knew that there was no point in trying to sneak an Akatsuki robe in the Hyuga manor but what exactly did Itachi expect me to do with it? Keep it? I didn't take him for an illusionist... I decided that it would be best to leave it in the forest, knowing it would seem like declining the offer. Because it was an offer. An invitation. He was urging me to join them, to put on that cloak and never look back.

It was surprisingly difficult to leave it behind and, if I want to be honest, it surprised me negatively. That was because I, a full-fledged shinobi of Konohagakure, could not abandon an object I knew I would be seeing again that very night. Exactly, that was always the spot. I hadn't ever met him elsewhere.

Albeit hard, I made the article of clothing invisible with the minimal amount of chakra and hid it so that it wouldn't be seen. Then, I straightened my back and started walking back with a dangerously frightening feeling that something bad would happen.

I lifted my eyes to the open sky that was slowly but surely clearing. It didn't take long before the mansion appeared in front of me. I fixed my clothes and hair before entering the builiding I was expected to call my home. I went straight to my bedroom without talking to anyone, I wasn't in the mood for idle chatter. I let my emotionless mask slip off my face as I threw the clothes off my body.

Once I was completely naked, save for my hitai-ate, I walked to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I reached and removed my forehead protector. I observed myself in the full-length mirror. I must have lost weight recently, must be the anxiety and the stress. In addition, I am under the impression that I should be worried by the change in my skin. It's far paler than usual, maybe way too pale to be healthy.

What never changes is the disgusting mark on my forehead. This symbol indicating my inferiority to the Main family. Alas, I will not keep torturing myself by troubling my mind with it. I reached behind me and let my hair loose.

Not to sound narcissistic but, objectively speaking, I do look good. Based on comments I've received I look better than good but I don't mean to brag. When one gets compliments about their appearance one too many it becomes hard not to start noticing their body and the effect it has on others. It has proven to be an effective weapon in the job. I'm not saying that I have let myself be used for the sake of a mission but if the circumstances required it, I would.

I carefully walked over to the bathtub and shut the curtain behind me. I switched on the hot water and adjusted it to the right temperature, letting it soak my hair first. I ran my fingers through my hair and continued by trailing them down my body. I grabbed a bottle of shampoo and squeezed the right amount onto my fingers. I started massaging my scalp as I thought about Itachi and what he had said.

A smile formed on my face as I recalled his words, firm but always gentle with me. He was jealous, meaning he feels something for me, right? Noone would react like this if they felt nothing. He said that I couldn't kiss anyone because of what we have. I rinsed my hair. But then, again... My smile faded as I remembered his other words. Itachi had said that I am too young and when I mentioned love he ran away from... from me.

"Why..?"

I muttered absent-mindedly as I tried to understand what I did wrong. I know I do not love him, not yet at least. But the reason is not that I do not appreciate him. I'm afraid because he won't let me. I'm afraid that if I make any advances on him, such a damaged and hurt person, he will not wish to see me again.

I grabbed the soap and sponge and scrubbed my body, starting with my lower abdomen. Too young, my ass! He was only thirteen when he murdered an entire clan and I'm sixteen and I can't love? I'm by no means comparing myself to him, he's much better, smarter, and everything I aspire to be but now he is totally and completely wrong. I could love him, if only he'd let me...

I finished my shower and turned the water off. I reached out and grabbed a soft green towel. I wrapped it loosely around my waist and exited the connected bathroom, entering the bedroom. So, what would really happen if I finally joined the Akatsuki? And if, according to Itachi, I am too young to love, how am I not young enough to abandon my village and become a rogue ninja? So many questions without answers. I dryed my hair the best I could with the towel and put on some underwear. Afterwards, I threw on a loose t-shirt without bothering with pants, not even nightclothes.

As my still damp hair slowly wetted the back of my shirt, I sat on my bed and grabbed a book from the nightstand. It was my favourite book and I feel no ashamed whatsoever to admit that it is a romantic story revolving around a young couple of shinobi. I've read it four times already so I practically know every line but it is still enjoyable to read it.

It narrates the story of how Annie, a golden haired fifteen-year-old kunoichi, met Jean, a sixteen-year-old ninja, in the battlefield. It is not the romance that makes this book my favourite, I usually cringe at the very word. It's the meanings the author is trying to get across. It is clear that freedom is a great part of the story as Annie is supposed to have an arranged marriage with some wealthy lord to enhance the alliances of the clans and Jean has to remain unmarried for the rest of his life as a result to an oath he swore when he was young, as part of his family's tradition. It is full of love, freedom, independance, co-operation and equality, that's why I like it so much.

I suppose that the writer also wants to tell us something when both of them die in the final page. It is caused by the war they themselves started when they ran away and broke the liens with other families, resulting in them being hunted down. They messed up the world and got so many people, innocent people, killed just to be together. Just to draw their final breath holding eachother's hand. How naive and inconsiderate...

I opened it at a random page and immediately recognised the scene when Annie tries to convince Jean that they have no future together.

 _'But Annie, why don't you see? I am for you and you're for me. Let's tell your father and my family and we can be together.'_

 _'Go, Jean! They'll catch you! You'll get us both killed! It's wrong!'_

"Then I don't want to be right..."

I muttered the next line as I closed the book and put it back in its place. I wasn't in the mood for reading, after all.

There was a barely audible knock on my door so I asked Hinata ~because it was Hinata~ to wait for a moment so I could get properly dressed. After I put on some loose-fitting pants and I regained my neutral expressions I put on my hitai-ate and I opened the door and bowed my head a little.

"What is it that you want, Hinata-sama?"

"Um... Father w-wants you to c-come downstairs to t-talk with h-him."

"Please, inform Hiashi-sama that I will be there shortly."

I bowed my head again, something I hate, and waited for her to retreat so I could close the door. She didn't.

"I-I also wanted t-to ask you a-a question..."

"If I can provide you with an answer I will, Hinata-sama."

"Did you g-give the l-letter to Naruto-kun?"

"I did, Hinata-sama. I consider it my duty to tell you not to get your hopes up, you don't want to get hurt."

I don't know why I said that. I shouldn't have told her that. I should have been more considerate but then again, if she starts believing that Naruto returns her feelings she will get far more hurt later on. No, I do not regret saying that after all.

"Neji nii-san, can you be a brother to me for once and tell me exactly what happened?"

I was genuinely surprised by the lack of stuttering. But, aside from that, I wanted to. Be a brother, I mean. But I couldn't. If she wanted to know exactly what had taken place in Naruto's appartment I was about to tell her.

"Very well, Hinata-sama. Naruto decided that it would be a good idea to kiss me."

I saw the pain in her eyes and I honestly felt for her. She had been in love with him for a long time. The thought that he prefered a boy, and no other than her own cousin, was indeed infuriating and frustrating.

"And you? What did you do?"

"I deemed it appropriate to leave."

"But did you kiss him back?"

Who does she take me for?

"No, Hinata-sama."

Then, I was shocked to death by what she did. The girl threw her arms around me and pressed her face to my chest. Okay, she was trying to hug me. I felt my shirt dampen at the front so I assumed that she was crying. What does one do in such a situation? I placed my right hand on her right shoulder blade and my left on her head, softly stroking her hair.

"Why, Neji, why?"

"I don't know, Hinata-sama. Could you move now, please?"

She pulled away and looked at me in the eye, shaking her head. I've always considered her a burden but right now it stings to brush her off. I truely wanted to act like a brother but... No buts. It's about time I stopped being a dick.

"Look, Hinata-sa~ Hinata nee-san. I will go see what Hiashi-sama wants with me and I'll be right back. You... You can stay here if you want to talk with me."

I'd never called her my sister again and it felt strange to hear the words in my voice. She smiled. I slowly walked down the stairs trying to figure out how to comfort a hurt person. How do others do it? I found my uncle seated in the living room, two tea-cups waiting in the table in front of him. He motioned for me to seat opposite from him. I obliged.

"Hinata nee-san informed me of your wish to speak to me."

I tried the word in my mouth, it sounded good. Hiashi-sama arched an eyebrow but did not seem displeased or concerned regarding the way I referred to Hinata.

"I do wish to speak to you about an urgent matter. It concenrs you deeply and I will ask you to remain calm during this conversation."

Does he not know that I am always calm? Okay, that was a lie. Regardless, I never show it if I am not calm, as indicates the protocol I grew up respecting.

"I can assure you that I will remain calm as best I can, Hiashi-sama. What is it that concerns me so deeply and is so shocking that you have to remind me to keep my cool?"

He took a sip of his tea and so did I. It was hot green tea and it burnt my tongue. I swallowed and set the cup down. He took a deep breath and looked right into my lunar eyes, similar to his own. He spoke in a stern voice.

"As I am sure you are well aware we are doing our best for the future of the clan. All of us."

"Of course, Hiashi-sama."

"Then I am right to believe that you are willing to do the same. Or is that incorrect?"

Anger bubbled up within me. If, by my attitude, he has formed the opinion that I have done less for the clan, the man is clearly blind. Truely ironic. I am by no means saying that I am willing to do anything, I just have no choice. Regardless, I have never shown difficulty in obeying orders, that was for sure.

"That is correct, Hiashi-sama."

"Then, would you be willing to dedicate your life?"

But I already have. What was he~?

"I am talking about your life with a partner, Neji."

It dawned on me that he was talking about my life with a spouse. Realization hit me as I understood that this was about an arranged marriage. I was slowly turning into Annie and it scared me.

"Would you please elaborate on that, Hiashi-sama?"

"We are in need of a union with the Meyoki family, as well as a child in our family to possess both kekkei genkai. I have to say that, considering your blood limit which is the strongest in our clan, you are best suited."

"Am I right to suppose, Hiashi-sama, that I have no say in the matter whatsoever?"

"Indeed, you are right to think that."

"May I be excused?"

I was not just angry, I was furious. I was expected to marry some girl who probably already hated me as she was certainly being forced as well. A sharp nod from my uncle was my cue to leave. I got up and turned around without bowing, a clear sign of disrespect. He either didn't see it or chose to dismiss it as he knew I was upset. I locked myself in the main bathroom of the house and leaned over the sink. I refused to cry.

But, with all due respect, you don't tell a sixteen year old he's going to spend his life with a stranger against his will. I don't want some girl from the Meyoki family, I want Itachi...

I suddenly remembered Hinata waiting in my room. I drew in a deep breath and unlocked the door. It was surprisingly comforting to know that I would be concerning myself with Hinata's problems rather than my own. I knew, after all, that that very night there would be someone focusing on my problems and mine alone. I opened the door to find her crying on my bed. I walked over to her and hugged her, letting her cry on my shoulder. After a while, we both drifted off to sleep, away from our troubles.

I woke up to find myself alone in my bedroom, the sky pitch black already. I cast a sidelong glance at the clock and jumped on my feet. It was 00:30 and I should get going. I really wanted to be in the forest when he arrived, show him that I am responsible. I threw on some proper clothes and opened my bedroom's window. I galnced behind before I jumped down and started running towards the dark woods.

I reached my destination only minutes later. I looked around only to see that I was alone. My troubled mind immediately thought that he would not show up. That he didn't want to ever see me again. Maybe what I had said about love annoyed him more than I thought and he had given up on me. I let myself sit down and wrapped my arms around my trembling form. It was cold and I didn't care if someone saw me. I reached where I had hidden the cloak and returned it to normal. I wore it and sat quietly, refusing to believe he wouldn't turn up.

An hour later, the rattle of clothes drew my attention to the dark figure standing right behind me. He sat on the ground next to me and wrapped an arm around me. I hesitated to lean on him as to not be misconstrued. The gentle jerk on my shoulder urging me to do exactly that convinced me to let all forms of guard down and bury my face in the crook of his neck. He didn't ask anyhting. He didn't ask me why I was crying or why I was whispering his name in-between broken sobs. He just held me and even ran his hands through my hair.

For the first time after my father died I dared say something I had vowed to never utter again. That sentence meant a lot to me and, by saying it, I felt like I was exposing myself fully.

"I'm scared..."

For a moment, I wished he hadn't heard me. His husky reply in my ear made me breathe a sigh of relief and relax a bit.

"Me too..."

And we said nothing else for the rest of the night. No questions or answers, nothing... Because it was already a hard day. The night ended and I hadn't found rest. The sun slowly made an appearance and sunrise found me with a smile on my lips. Because, no matter how hard the day had been, who wouldn't simle when the village's 'greatest enemy' and 'most dangerous criminal' was sleeping softly on their shoulder?

* * *

So, here's the second chapter and I hope I live up to expectations. I'm trying to get better and feedback will be greatly appreciated :) Yours truely, AnimeAddict777 :D


	4. White lost in black

**Pairing:** ItaxNeji

 **Warning:** Angst, OOC, Yaoi (MxM), Language, Violence, First person

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or the characters and I don't make any money from this.

 **A/N:** This is the third chapter of _You found me_ and I'm actually quite proud. I hope you like it because it is indeed hard to write... Feedback will be greatly appreciated. Also, the words _'Eithrem mendlon'_ are mine and don't exist anywhere else. The language mentioned does not exist in real life or in the anime. It means nothing whatsoever, there is no translation.

 _ **You found me**_

 _ **Chapter 3:**_ _A little bit of white can easily be lost within a sea of black..._

* * *

It was beautiful. All the colours I could see combining were beyond magnificent and captivating. The golden spears joining with the gentle touch of opalescent clouds and creating the most breath-taking and awe-inspiring sunrise. Tints of blue blended in with the overall heavenly palette. Then I opened my eyes and I was still sitting in the living room of the Hyuga manor, talking to a foreign family against my will.

The serene image that decorated the unseen walls of my mind slowly faded and my annoyance came back full-force. Said image was one I had personally witnessed earlier that morning in the forest all but alone. It was indeed a very relaxing moment for both of us before he left. Of course, he left only after he'd reassured me that he'd be back, though I didn't really need confirmation.

When I returned to the Hyuga compound I had no choice but to lie about everything. I hate lying though I understand that in situations like this one it is inevitable. Afterwards, though I would very much like to go to sleep, I was not given a choice concerning the visit of the Meyoki family ~father, mother, son, and daughter~ all the way from Sunagakure in order to talk about... arrangements.

The father seemed arrogant and he spoke vainly, a selfishness to rival the Hyugas', and that was no small thing, coming from a Hyuga. The mother seemed quiet and reserved, not daring defy her husband. She gave off the essence of a trapped animal, forced to do things against her will, much like me actually. However, I would never even dream of showing my fear and vulnerability so openly. Their son, who looked about twenty years old at most, was definitely a shinobi. He wanted to appear powerful, that was for sure. No match for Hyugas though.

Finally, the fair-haired kunoichi whose name I hadn't caught seemed frightened and fragile. If I didn't know any better I'd say she wasn't a ninja. But I did know better and I could see the look in her honey-tinted green eyes indicating that she had seen death and a great deal of it. What I could also see was that she avoided looking at me all throughout the conversation I had no part in. She was even afraid of me. Maybe it escaped her mind that I was a victim there as well. I was there unwillingly as well. I was~

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration as I heard my name being mentioned by my uncle. I was probably being called out and I honestly wanted no part in that but... a man's got to do what a man's got to do and all that crap.

"Yes, Hiashi-sama?"

"Why don't you take Hanekyomi for a walk in our beatiful gardens? She has probably never seen something like that, having been raised in Suna."

Although phrased in a polite manner, it was still an order. And one I had to follow, that is. Without another word, I stood and held my hand out to her, as the protocol indicated. She didn't take it. Instead, she got up and started walking. I almost laughed. If she wanted to appear independent and strong she should have known where the gardens were, instead of walking in the opposite direction.

"You're going the wrong way. If you'd be as kind as to let me guide you we will be in the gardens in no time."

 _And then I won't have to talk to you anymore..._ My mind completed. She followed me reluctantly and I let my irritation show the moment I was out of my uncle's sight. When we were finally in the goddamn garden, I turned around with the intention to leave. I had no reason to be there and I didn't want to be there.

"Where are you going?"

Her crystal-like voice reached my ears and I honestly felt no need to inform her about where I wanted to go. Who does she think she is? My mother? No, thank you. I had one of those, died within the first five years, no need for replacement. Regardless, I should grace her with an answer, for common courtesy's sake. However, that did not mean my answer had to be polite per se.

"I fail to see how that is any of your business, Hanekyomi-san."

I hated the suffix. Why call her 'san'? She hasn't earned my respect yet. She didn't even call me by my name, her question was demanding and impersonal.

"I hate you."

 _Well, that makes two of us..._ I knew I had it coming. Ironic, truly. I expected her to feel something so strong for me when I had barely uttered two sentences in her presence. A life of a shinobi does make us hate another person very easily after all.

"I am well aware."

"I don't want to marry you. I want to marry Mazuku."

I didn't have the faintest idea who Mazuku was but I didn't doubt that he was better than me. As only she saw it, of course, let's be realistic. Plain to see, my vanity and pride are still good to go.

"You sound like you truly believe that I want to marry you. If you do, I'll be happy to inform you that you are mistaken."

"If you don't want this either let's just run away."

Anger gripped my lungs and made it hard to breathe as the autumn breeze made her long hair come loose from the grip she had on it, as to prevent just that. Irony always shows its face, even in the most insignificant things. Just like this insignificant girl whose insignificant face is obscured by long strands of liquid gold and who just made her little insignificant suggestion. I won't deny that insignificant things somethimes infuriate me.

"Run away? Run away?! Yeah, some ninja you are... We all have a special someone, significant other, soul mate, whatever you wish to call it, but we don't just risk peace that has been built up over the years with unimaginable effort just to satisfy our own _insignificant_ needs that will be lost when we die. And, seeing that we are shinobi, that will be surprisingly soon, believe me. You and Mazuku and me and the next generation and the next and the next and the next... We will all perish, but not the idea. Not the peace. So, either give up your hitai-ate and stop being a ninja or start acting like one."

After I expressed my outrage surprisingly calmly, I turned on my heel and abandoned the garden. She could show herself back inside if she wanted to, I was done for the day. My body required sleep, as I'd never admit, so I was planning on giving it just that. Fate, however, ~who still seems to have a habit of mocking me and playing my life in broken strings~ thought differently.

The moment I reached the corridor which led to my room I sensed him. Had I not been a Hyuga I would have shouted 'What next?!' on the top of my lungs. But being unfortunate enough to bear this name and a certain mark I was not allowed to do so. I couldn't help but wonder, though, what Hanekyomi's brother wanted in my room or who gave him permission to enter it.

I stood outside my sanctuary for a moment, wondering if I should enter it now that it had been violated by another's presence without my consent. I grabbed the doorknob and twisted it brutally... Just as a scream echoed through the house... I immediatiately turned around and headed for the main hall, actually fearing it was Hinata who had uttered the ear-splitting cry. I was being paranoid, however, as I could clearly feel my sister's chakra flowing swiftly somewhere in the house. Hanekyomi's brother followed right behind me.

And where was everyone? I soon found out everyone was in the garden... where Hanekyomi's body lay lifeless on the ground, her blood covering the cool grass as if erasing it from existance. My jaw dropped when I caught sight of the engravings brutally made premanent on the smooth skin of the girl's back. It would have meant nothing to anyone else but to me it made everything crystal clear.

Two words. Eithrem mendlon. I understood immediately. It was an old phrase from a dead language, long forgotten. I had come to learn it with Itachi's help after he informed me of its use. These days, the Akatsuki used it to communicate secretly without being found out.

It was an ancient language, only known among those of the Uchiha who possessed the Mangekyo Sharingan, as that was the only ability making it possible to read the documents explaining the language. When the Uchiha clan abandoned their savage tradition of murdering their best friends to acquire power, these documents were lost, buried. Itachi searched and found them in order to suggest a code for his fellow criminals. A few months ago, he decided to teach it to me.

I honestly felt special and honoured that he trusted me not to betray him. I could have. Easily, too. But he deemed it appropriate to let me in their secrets as if I belonged to the Akatsuki group. Well, maybe I did, who knows?

Anyway, these two words meant 'Fatal threat' and Itachi did not fail to prove to me that no matter what I did, he knew. If I want to tell the truth, I'll mention that it does creep me out to know that he is watching me at all times. But, I sort of feel safe too, if you know what I mean... Anyway, that still left the huge blank of why the mindless girl was a fatal threat to the Akatsuki. Surely, it couldn't have been the doing of jealousy, he must have some ulterior motive, right?

Only then did I notice the small rubber band next to the corpse. It was red and familiar and... Itachi's... I took it in my hand and only got about three seconds to look at it before I was roughly grabbed by the hair. I remained unfazed as I grabbed the wrist brutally grasping my hair~it belonged to Hanekyomi's brother~and broke it fairly easily. No one bosses or messes me around. I lefted my leg and landed a kick right in his ribs. I didn't care that his parents and every single Hyuga in the manor were watching. He doesn't get to touch me.

"You did it..."

He whispered in-between groans of pain. I looked down where he was, at my feet. I leaned down so that only he could hear me as I grabbed the back of his scull and breathed in his ear.

"No... But I wish I had... She was weak... So are you..."

I released the grip on his head and let it drop to the ground as I calmly walked away and back into the mansion. I didn't know what to do... I was a suspect and I had beaten up that douche pretty badly... I only had one option... I looked down at the hair tie in my hand and headed for my room. Tonight. I was going to go, tonight.

I ran to my bedroom and grabbed a backpack, throwing in my weapons and a few clothes. After I had taken all the essentials, I jumped out the window and followed the oh-so-familiar path to the woods. It was morning, he normally wouldn't be there... But this was serious, he couldn't just kill a person when I was a suspect and not show up.

As expected, he was there after a matter of minutes. I shoved the rubber band in his chest and immediately started scolding him.

"What did you think you were doing?! Do you want to get me killed?! You. Don't. Randomly. Kill. People. Especially not when they can get me in jail! What were you~"

"The girl was a threat."

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to kiss or beat that calmness off his face.

"A threat to what?"

"She was scheduled to marry you. I wasn't going to let that happen."

"Are you completely mad?! She was innocent, she was~"

I never got to finish my sentence as he grabbed me by the waist and smashed his lips on mine, swallowing my gasp. My opalescent eyes widened and were met with his shut eyelids. His tongue traced my bottom lip and pulled away, breathing heavily. He kissed me! That's a good thing, right? I stumbled back a bit and hit the bark of a wet tree.

He held his hand out and I was so captivated that I didn't process my own hand joining it. Suddenly, I realized I had nowhere to go but the Akatsuki. Deep down I knew I would join them in the end, but I never thought it would be so soon.

"Itachi, I..."

"You what, Neji?"

I reached and undid my hitai-ate, the only thing covering the Curse mark now being the bandadges I tie around my head. I believed it was enough of an answer to whatever question he might have had. That was it. There was no turning back. I was officially a criminal. Well, what can I say? Love makes fools of us all, doesn't it?

* * *

I know it's a great deal shorter than the previous one but I thought this was a pretty good time to finish the chapter. So, I hope you enjoy it and, as always. feedback will be greatly appreciated. Yours truly, AnimeAddict777


	5. Goodbye, blue sky

**Pairing:** ItaxNeji

 **Warning:** Angst, OOC, Yaoi (MxM), Language, Violence, First person

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or any of the characters and I don't make any money from this.

 **A/N:** I know it's been ages since I last updated and I'm truly sorry but I've been extremely busy these days. You have my humble apologies. Also, the title of the chapter comes from Pink Floyd etc. etc. So... here goes...

 ** _You found me  
_**

 ** _Chapter 4:_** _Goodbye_ _, blue sky_

* * *

I looked straight ahead and refused to even glance backwards. I had made my choice. A choice I then hoped would be one of those decisions you never, ever regret making. At that time, I thought that was the only option for me, nothing else. How young and naive I was...

Looking back on all these events I finally realize how much of a fool I was as a sixteen-year-old teenager. Well, I had my reasons. Even though I wished to appear powerful and arrogant ~and it was fairly easy, I have to admit~ my fears haunted me everywhere I went. Maybe they still do... I was a very bright young man with grave insecurities and suicidal tendencies. Deadly combination.

The reason? Imagine a sharp mind, capable of extremely high-leveled strategy and planning, in fear, in despair, in agony. I could do anything I wanted, be it psychotic. I had the brains for it and fear is emotion enough. Only now do I realize I was oh-so-very dangerous, impossible to control. I wonder how I'm still sane. Though, maybe I'm not. How would I know?

But five years ago again, back when I was still a frightened genious skidding along the moist boughs on my way to calamity. But, I shall not reveal further information just yet. Then again, what would be the point of hiding anything? It happened and nothing can ever change what has come to pass, the bitter truth is. Alas, I should not digress any further, it's not like me.

Anyway, I hastily moved from branch to branch and bit my lip nervously, concentrating on the dark figure with the jet black hair in front of me. It didn't matter at all that he had been the demise of so many others, for me he would be a saviour. As fate proved, the first and last.

I remained silent, quiet as a grave, for fear of ruining the moment and bringing an end to whatever madness had possessed him and he was taking me with him. However, he stopped abruptly and I looked at him expectantly, a fine eyebrow arched questioningly. I even surprised myself with how well I hid my excitement and at the same time fear.

"Neji."

"I'm listening."

"I hope you realize that there is no turning back once you follow me. Are you sure you want to do this?"

I bit back a sarcastic laugh but couldn't help rolling my eyes or snorting. Was he for real? Suddenly annoyed, I lost all care for niceties and politesse. He was unbelievable.

"You're not serious, are you, Itachi?"

"As a matter of fact, I am. Why are you so bitter out of the blue?"

"I'm not bitter, Uchiha." I said bitterly.

I was hostile, I had every right to be. Not only had he forced me to have no other option, but he dared ask if I was sure. I wouldn't tolerate such mockery however much I admired and respected him.

"You clearly are, little Hyuga. What's wrong?"

I clenched my fists angrily.

"What... the fuck... have I said... about calling me... 'little'?"

The words left my mouth through gritted teeth and I had let my hair cover my face by then. However, I was looking at him defiantly through the dark strands.

"Apologies, force of habit. Now, why are you bitter?"

"You can't just... You can't."

His eyes narrowed no more than a fraction but it was still visible. Confusion was written all over his face and it was even reflected in his voice when he spoke.

"I can't what?"

"You can't make all my options disappear and then ask me if I'm sure. Of course I'm sure because there is nowhere else to go."

"Naive as always, Neji. When will you understand that you do not need me or your clan or your Village to survive and later succeed? Free yourself from these shackles and decide for yourself where you wish to be."

I chanced a look at him and was met with something I certainly did not expect. An expression of fondness was spread in all his features, bringing out his boyish looks, albeit very few, and reminding me that he was not much older. That he was only twenty. That I was treating him like an old man, responsible for everything, when he was not that much more mature than myself.

Of course, the stuff he's been through makes him much more mature than most people but he's still young... So young... My eyes softened.

"I want to be with you. But I want to chose it myself, not be forced to do it."

"It was never my intention to force you into anything. I must admit I acted on impulse and demonstrated an unusual case of recklessness I don't normally have. I am very sorry for that. So, I'm asking you; Do you want to come with me?"

The corners of my mouth tugged upwards a little and I nodded slowly, never breaking eye contact.

"I would very much like that."

"Good. Now that that's settled, shall we get going?"

I nodded again and activated my Byakugan, just in case.

I noticed Itachi glancing at me from time to time, mostly staring at my eyes.

Ah, my eyes... If this kind of monstrous eyes did not exist life would be so much better. Who are we, mere humans, to have the ability to control such unimaginable power? But what most people don't understand is that we can't control it in the slightest. What they can't quite grasp is the fact that the power controls us, not the other way around. It gets hold of us and corrupts us in a way that we would do the most inhuman deeds in order to gain more power, and more power, and more power and then...

Nothing. Darkness. We are left alone with the power that consumes and eliminates us in a way that we don't even realize it until we find ourselves in a cage and everyone we love is in the outside. But they're outside only because we isolate ourselves and forsake all forms of family and fellowship. Because we didn't let them in. And we only realize that once the door is locked.

But then it's too late. We have to face the beast we created that is now part of ourselves and it drives us insane. That beast possesses us until the next fool comes longing for power and the same thing happens again, and again, and again...

And people are stupid enough to let history repeat itself leading to calamity and despair. I'm not extracting myself, no. I've been fairly stupid in my sixteen years of life, in my opinion. Maybe this whole decision was a mistake. A lethal one at that.

Because I forgot who I was. Or rather, I forgot who I was supposed to be. I am, was, a Shinobi. A soldier. A faceless weapon. That's what we are and our job is to follow orders. That's what I used to do until my plans sank in deep pools of ink and they've hit rock bottom, my previous motivations and ambitions long forgotten, replaced by hopes of freedom. Freedom I'd never tasted before yet I missed it as if it had once been part of me. How crazy of me, being nostalgic for something that I never had.

But who could blame me? It seems natural that an intelligent, proclaimed genious, young man would desire, long for freedom. No limits, no prohibitions, no inhibitions, no rules, no obligations... Unfortunately, that does not apply to any member of the Hyuga clan. Therefore, I had two options. Either abandon the Hyuga name and finally spread my wings and fly or decline Itachi's offer and live in misery, looking forward to my death while knowing it would not be soon due to my abilities. It's a terrible burden to have such capacities and hate them, real shame. Anyway, it is quite evident I chose the former.

And who wouldn't? Who cares for reputation and prestige when they can't do as they please with their own lives? Well, obviously, the other Hyugas... But why? What is the Branch family so afraid of? They are so many more, in numbers, than the Main that they could simply destroy them, Curse Mark be damned. All it would take is one small nudge towards rebellion and the so-called Hyuga Empire would go up in flames, leaving naught but ashes behind.

But, for some strange reason, we hesitate to take the step. We convince ourselves that we're content with the current situation and we do not search for better. We don't fight for better. It's human nature. It's fear.

 _It is not true._  
 _Or maybe that's just what I tell myself._  
 _I'm not like them._  
 _But I know that's a lie as well._

 _So why do I hide?_  
 _Is it because I hate that word?_  
 _What do I despise?_  
 _It used to be just that, now it's the whole damn world._

 _It is not sadness._  
 _Nor is it pent up hatred._  
 _It is not sorrow._  
 _Yet it is worse than all of these._

 _Fear. The most powerful of all._  
 _You think you can escape it?_  
 _It's even stronger when you fall._  
 _Think not you can defeat it._

 _Because when your mind goes blank_  
 _And your body fails you._  
 _When Fear takes control of you,_  
 _You'll flee and you'll be right._

 _But you are you and I am me,_  
 _Our difference is uncanny._  
 _I am no coward, therefore, I_  
 _Will never turn and leave._

 _I say not that I don't fret._  
 _But my fear is Fear itself_  
 _And nothing less._

I had written that poem the first time I saw someone collapse from fear and succumb to it, cowering shamedly.

Who would have known that I would be running away myself, fleeing? Also, who would have thought that it would feel so good to have the air brush into my hair as I turned my head to glance one last time towards my past? Who would have believed that it would feel so liberating to finally be away from these twisted people who dare call themselves humans?

Definitely not me. I never would have believed that treason would feel so deliciously forbidden... Or maybe it was just Itachi that made it so addicting, so desireable... But, what if Itachi and I, together, could make others see what I saw?

Only time would tell...

* * *

Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


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